Well, since I live out in the country now, I thought it was time to mount a deer head on my wall. No, no… not a real one. I saw this picture and I yearned:
Upon further investigation, I discovered a big kitschy faux deer head would cost about $200. Which I thought was foolish, I valued this obsession at no more than 50 bucks.
That’s when I stumbled upon “The Duke“. His owner, who named him, was offering him for $35 on eBay. Sold!
The Duke came artfully painted to be lifelike (yikes!), and since my heart was set on a rustic, white version, he would be getting a makeover.
I figured it was going to take me about an hour tops- one coat of gray primer and one coat of a textured white topcoat. Easy as pie. Right?
You see, because it is freezing outside I have been banished down to the basement to do all of my weird projects. And I don’t like the basement. Its dark, dank, filled with spiders, and far, far away. So I had the brilliant notion to move my work-space upstairs, into our attic, which has abundant natural light and an unfinished staircase.
In theory it was perfect. The Duke could fit on the steps, on a drop cloth, and because the steps need work anyway it wouldn’t matter if a little over spray occurred. What could go wrong? Well…
Right after I finished coat #1, I walked downstairs, closed the door, and heard it: Bang, bang, bang, crashhhhh….
The Duke fell down the stairs. Breaking his ear clean off and shattering it into pieces. And his antlers… horrifying.
As I stood there, staring at my broken stag. I took a frustrated breath and examined my options:
1. Scrap him and buy a new one.
2. Forget about the whole thing.
3. Try to fix him.
Well, I don’t like to give up, and I don’t like to needlessly waste money. So #3 was the only choice. I poured myself another coffee and began surgery.
Finding all the pieces was the most challenging part, followed by an enormous amount of adhesive bond, some wood putty, and so much profanity. But 10 hours later he’s together again. Newly painted and proudly hanging from our wall.
I’m a little scared to touch him… He could fall apart at any moment.